Rogue Shadow

“…and if you look at the next page, that’s the schedule for our performance in Penang…”

Ooh, coolness. We’d also be performing in Penang! —Wait, hold the phone. PENANG?!

Jeebus.

A wide eyed- “thank God I’m sitting down on the floor”- me felt my heart sank. No, wait… I thought, Maybe we’re not having any exams at that time, checking schedule… Haha, nope, Fate is still the same stone cold Bitch she was yesterday.

I was already preparing myself for the painstaking task of juggling college, work and Screwed, with my family and social life. I told myself that sacrifices need to be made, because I need this. I need Screwed to save my sanity. I was mustering whatever courage and strength in this tiny body of mine to face this challenge.

But, PENANG? On a very possible mid term evaluation week? On scholarship ? That’s one too many graves to dig.

Relating this to Kelvin and Melissa was like breaking up with a lover (a very new lover, but what can I say? TOS was love at first sight for me), and so I agreed to stay, provided I’ll be able to settle some kind of agreement with college during evaluation week.

And so I very nervously attended the first rehearsal. Ish.

We haven’t started working with the scripts yet. We did a lot of exercises to release inhibition: playing games, dancing and giving each other back rubs (Brana is gooood).

I was feeling great in my happy bubble when Kelvin decides to burst me back to reality.

“Why did you join us? What are your expectations? What does this mean to you?” Sitting across him in the circle, I tried my best to ignore the colossal guilt trip laid upon me. I swear, K, I’ll poke your blastid puppy dog eyes blind!

I joined because I plain wanted to. I was intrigued by their display of enthusiasm when I interviewed Kelvin and Reuben on TOS. (Plus, home was driving me nuts.) I expect an educating experience. All experiences are, but I hope to look back with a huge grin on my face instead of feeling any regret.

What this means to me? For now, it means a place where I’m welcomed. A place I belong to. Home.

Here’s to the tears, sweat, but hopefully not blood that awaits us. Looking forward to getting SCREWED.

Aah…February. The month of lurrve…(although I don’t know who started that. It used to be just Valentine’s Day, now it’s the whole frikkin month). Don’t you just melt inside from all that leftover Christmas warmth creeping itself into your soul as you watch the lovers declare their love for one another to the whole world?

Bah.

There’s more honesty and truth in a Disney movie.

Welcome, one and all, to the commercial manipulation that is St. Valentine’s Day, where the florists raise the price of a rose up to three times its original value and men scatter to find the perfect box of chocolates only for their women to scream "I can’t eat those! I’ll get FAT!"

Ok, yeah, I’m using cliches, but they are cliches for a reason- they’re mostly true.

Now, I have absolutely no problem with love, or declaring it to the world, for that matter. Why, I myself have been in a steady relationship for 10 months now and am over the moon about it. Whatever the cynics may claim, there is no other feeling as beautiful as being in love. NOT EVEN CHOCOLATES.

Looking around me as I enter any shopping mall right now, I feel like I’m watching National Geographic, and it’s the Homo Sapiens during mating season—like cats rolling in catnip, they scout for the right cologne to drown themselves in, getting the perfect heart shaped card to fit in the perfect bouquet with the perfect chocolates for THE Perfect Woman, even if it’s for only one night.

Oh, GOD, I need to barf.

And for all this, I blame the women.

Thaaat’s right; the WOMEN. Why were tulips so fackin expensive? Women. Why was spice such a big deal? Women. Why are diamonds men’s worst nightmare? Because it’s a Girl’s Best Friend. Why are men broke after V-Day? WOMEN.

I mean, I admit it’s fun to watch them run around trying to figure out how best to woo us (which is hilarious because they don’t even understand US to begin with), but it is also cruel to advocate this. Besides, they might end up getting us gifts that totally backfire their plans, and could even resent us a little for that. And don’t give me that bullshit about "If they love us, they would do this for us". NO. If WE love THEM, we should shut up, be happy with what we have, cut them some slack and stop expecting things. (And if they still get us something special, well that’s a nice surprise you can truly enjoy).

And why only on this one day (or month) must both sexes go all out to ‘prove’ their love? What about the rest of the year? In my opinion, this is when all insecure couples lie to themselves and say "Yeah, we’re good, coz he got me perrdy bracelet." And the only ones who are truly happy are the florists, the confectionaries, the jewellers and Hallmark.

This Valentines, ask yourself if your relationship and love for the other is true and strong. Then only, if the answer is yes, do you declare it to that person using the cheapest but most honest method—plain telling and being with them. Every other day.