Rogue Shadow

LIke most red- blooded women, I love shoes.I like how I look more sophisticated and have a sexier walk when I wear heels. I adore shoes almost as much as I adore handbags. I’ve been envied by some over my dainty size four feet. There’s just one problem.

“Sorry, ah, Miss. Our smallest is size 5″.

At almost every fuckin label. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I learnt that I’m a size 4 for flats. For heels, I’m actually a devastating size THREE.

Last Saturday, I went on our annual raya shopping trip my mom insists on. It was shoes galore at the newly opened Robinsons. I went through the repeated agony of picking a gorgeous pair of stillettos and face the cruel fate of either
a) No smaller size
b) My mom thinks they make me look like a skank
c) I can’t walk in them
d) I can’t jump in them
e) They cost RM 400

Finally, after an hour, I find a pair of sweet nude heels. They fit perfect, I can jump and dance in them, and it was only RM 109. Mom was happy and mouthed ” Those are LOVELY! (she couldn’t speak due to ulcers in her mouth from the chemo effect). Job well done, if I’d say so myself.

Then Mom goes “Now we go to Mid Valley to get you a black pair”.

Oih.

And in Episode 2—–

I asked mom if I could shop for my undies myself this time, instead of the usual accompaniment by mom. “Why? Elza takut I see what you buy, ke?” she asked. “No,” I said, half- lying. “It’s just that I’m already 20. And you have this habit of picking up a bra and loudly proclaiming ‘ AAH, THIS ONE LAWA, ELZA!’ “. So mom agreed. And since she couldnt speak during the day we went shopping, I was confident of my independence to go lingerie shopping.

Wheeling my mother (she was in wheelchair coz she was too weak to walk), we asked the sales assistant where the undergarments were. The helpful lady saw me wheeling mom, and offered to bring us to cusomer services for an escort. Cool, I thought.

We were brought to the Head of Security, who brought us through their security lift at the back where all the storage and cctv viewings are. I’m thinking “Whoa, class treatment!” I was very pleased with their helpfulness.

Untill they got a bit overzealous with their help. The Chief blasted through his walkie-talkie “Saya dengan Azean Irdawaty nih, anaknya nak cari bra, tolong escort. Ah, adik nak kat mana? Ok, bawak diorang ke Triumph”.

The whole women’s department AND the security knew I was looking for bras. And the BRAND I wear.

Karma thinks she’s funny.